toby
Submission Judge
Grammar Nazi
Much of my writing is from my English class free writes, so critique away!
Posts: 576
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Post by toby on Nov 30, 2010 19:04:02 GMT -5
I sit in the dirt Scraping and scratching Plastic meets earth, and defeats the new foe with ease.
I sit in the grass Yanking and pulling Flesh meets plant, and conquers the green effortlessly.
I sit on the mat Thinking and clearing Mind meets matter, and the stalemate quivers with tension.
I sit in the chair Writing and bubbling Pencil meets paper, and the loss speeds through the air.
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Post by NinjaElephant on Nov 30, 2010 23:11:11 GMT -5
While short, I'm a big fan of this poem. The comparisons are nice, and the repetition fits nicely. Especially "Flesh meets plant, and conquers the green effortlessly.". That line made me feel nice.
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